Free wireless internet in cafe, ftw!

Okay, so I promised that I won't make rants journal again, but I really can't help it >_>


So, this is about my family. Since a long time ago, there are some *hidden* problems in my family, which everyone can feel, but no one ever brought it to the surface, we all pretend like we didn't know :/
The main cause of this problem is my dad and mom. They did not, heck, like each other, let alone love. There are too many differences in their belief and visions that it's impossible to make them go well together.

Heck, and unfortunately my dad is very egoist. He is..you can say he is heartless. He loves to hurt us with words without feeling a single drop of guilt at all :/ So does his family (my aunt very, very cruel)
I really pity my mom. She, has tried to endure this for at least 20 years, yet my dad and his family never changed at all. They always tried to find my mom's weakness and attack her :/
I don't know if it's intentional or they did it without thinking, but still it's totally not a nice thing to do >_>
For this whole 20 years, my mom tried to avoid to divorce for me and my little brother's sake. She actually cannot stand this anymore, to be honest. This, although my mom did this for our sake, it just made me feel like a burden ._.

Especially after my grandparents from my mom's side deaths, my mom almost got no one else to talk to and gain solace from. Me and my little brother are her only closest person now :< and unfortunately I'm here in Melbourne, which makes we can't talk as often as we used to.

And today, my brother told me that something unpleasant has happened just now. I don't want to talk about it, it's just..very bad >.> It's very heartbreaking for me and my brother :< Heck, we feel very worthless because of this. My mom did not know this yet, only me and my brother.

Heck, I don't like my dad for this. I tried not to hate him, since, after all, he IS my dad, duh >.< without him I won't be here in this world :B
But still, I can't help but feel very very angry to him and sad. This is just too painful for me to bear ._.
Is it wrong for me to feel this way? I feel like being a bad daughter who cannot respect their parent

I mean, I'm lucky enough not having a violent and drunk dad, but yet I still complaint and not grateful.

I hate adults! Why can't I be child forever? *perter pan syndrome*


This journal is made of total -ness

Woe! O, woe is me!

Ah well, expect some moar dark picture like since I feel like to draw

PS: It's a lucky thing that none of my cousins have DA, if they figured out about this journal, I will be so doomed @@